does anyone remember the movie where the teenage boy was actually a mermaid or did i hallucinate it
I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS OH MY GOD
Accurate post is accurate.
Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone
For those in retail.
I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.
So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”
I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).
Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.
When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid ****.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.
Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.
That last bit of commentary though.
Now you know the truth of what’s going through my mind at parties.
oh my gosh the last panel actually made me tear up
I can’t tell you how accurate this is
This is a really good depiction of social anxiety because it focuses on inner states rather then outward actions. As someone very good at concealing his anxiety, I appreciate it.
Go forth elven prince of the mountains
He must be a half elf because Elves can’t grow beards
Gimli and Legolas’s true son.
bless everything about this post
society: you can use sanitary pads, which make you feel like you are wearing a diaper, and have the added fun benefit of being extremely uncomfortable and give you the extreme paranoia that they will not be enough coverage and at any moment with any movement or sudden sneeze you'll bleed over onto your clothes and walk around all day with blood stained trousers while everyone points and laughs at you.
person: sounds awful. what's my second option.
society: a penis shaped wad of cotton that you shove uncomfortably inside yourself and it catches the blood before it leaves your body.
person: still seems pretty awful.
society: wait! it gets better! there's the outside chance that using those will kill you!
person: well, are they at least free? like how people can have access to free condoms? i mean, it's not like i'm choosing for this to happen.
society: HAHAHA! that's funny. no, you have to pay for them. and they're really fucking expensive.
society: oh, and if you tell anyone that you ARE on your period, your judgement, opinions, and reactions are going to be dismissed as the crazy ramblings of a lunatic.
person: i think i'll go with my third option.
society: what third option?
person: i think i'll bleed on everything you love.
- dont have enough followers to get hate
- am perfect and therefore yall dont have anything to complain about
Finally finished my Carla-Jaeger-being-eaten-by-a-Titan cosplay gown!
I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers
what why would you use numbers
so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH
America makes no sense, as usual.
bless the person that actually made the chart
laughter from France
France what the fuck
i bet dragons would probably think it’s really cool that we produce water in our mouths
That last image is too adorable to not reblog.
this is the cutest
was that a flip off
That was a flip off.
theeeeeeeeere’s the twelve that tumblr was waiting for
didn’t the goblet of fire cover this
because how else would Ireland win but krum catch the snitch
actually in prisoner of Azkaban, didn’t Gryffindor need a certain amount of points to proceed to the finals, and that’s why Oliver Wood told Harry to wait until they had scored a certain amount of points before he caught the snitch?
Catching the snitch ends the game and is worth the most points, but it doesn’t guarantee a win. Just like tumblr user samuel-vimes said, Krum caught the snitch at the World Cup Finals, but Ireland still won in the end because they still had more points.Also the way the ranking system works in the international quidditch league, and I assume at Hogwarts, according to JK Rowlings new reveal, is that teams are awarded a certain amount of points based on the amount of points a team wins by and thats how they are ranked against each other. Rowling said that a win by 150 points = 5 points, 100 points = 3 points, 50 points = 1 point, and a winner of a tie is whoever caught the snitch the quickest. So theoretically a team that only catches the snitch but wins by a margin of less than 50 points is awarded no points and might as well of not caught thats why Wood told Harry to wait until they were up a certain number of points in order to increase their overall ranking and win the cup.
And gosh, a good chunk of you people claim to hate sports.
We do hate sports. All the ones that don’t involve flying broomsticks and slightly murderous balls that try to knock you off them.
Life tip: bring a book with you everywhere you go
Life pro tip: bring two, in case you finish the first one.
Bigger life pro tip: Bring a kobo/kindle with you everywhere so you have an entire library with you at all times.
Ultimate life pro tip: live in a library and never ever leave.
Supreme life tip: Become a library
If the Winter Soldier was responsible for the Kennedy assassination and Magneto tried to STOP the Kennedy assassination then that must mean somehow Magneto lost a fight to a guy wITH AN ENTirE ARm MADE OF METAL